Since I am moving across the country and back to the Bay Area in a few months time, I feel an overwhelming sense of weight and heaviness on myself from beauty and sartorial clutter. It's sure fun to buy it all, but moving it all sucks. Couple that with my rather introspective nature as of late and I've landed on a couple of resolutions (or guidelines) I'd like to adhere to in 2013 and beyond. Some I already follow with ease and some I hope to get better about:
- Wear what makes you happy. I've made the mistake in the past of trying to dress how I thought people would want me to instead of how I wanted. Exhibit A: a boyfriend casually remarks he loves sundresses and suddenly I have a closet full of them. Perhaps because I didn't even know how I truly wanted to dress then, but I do now. I like a bit of everything. Because I'm a bit of everything. Sometimes I want to be minimal and modern and sometimes funky and bold. Sometimes I want to be boho or all natural. And sometimes I want to wear pajamas to the post office with a greasy top knot. Scratch that. I don't ever actually "want" to do that, it was more of a "had" to that day. Nevertheless, I wear what I want and it gives me confidence. If people poke fun at or comment on what I'm wearing, it really doesn't bother me. If someone says that lipstick looks bad, so what? I'm not dressing for anyone but myself. This isn't even a female empowerment "don't dress for men" type diatribe, but rather rather an overall "have confidence and conviction and don't worry about other people think" type rant. That's relevant for everyone. What level of cheesiness am I at now? Shredded Cheddar? Imported Swiss? Really it's just that I'm getting older and just seeing everyone for who they are. We are all just pooping, farting, stupid people. Who cares! Enjoy your time on earth because it goes quickly and there is no rewind button. I was literally at dinner last night talking about college with Ryan and then I panicked in my head, thinking about being 21 and how I will never be that young again. It freaked me out. And as I wrote this, it still scares me. I'm only 24, but it makes me feel like I've lost something I can never get back. Anddd this bullet point has taken a turn for the worse, so I'm just going to move on. Summary: Life is too short to worry about people liking your sweater. This blog isn't about wanting people to say they like my outfit; I don't need validation. It's about sharing style and shopping inspiration with those who want it. And because I like it. And I think someday it might be really interesting for my daughter or granddaughter to read.
- Have fun with everything you do. Never take yourself too seriously. Clothes and makeup are dress up. Put on your crazy pants and feel the vibes they give you. Laugh a little louder in them. Feel like the HBIC in your Lady Danger lips. Walk with a little more umph in your step in your blue suede heels. Every item of clothing I own evokes a feeling in me when I wear it and I want to continue to embrace the characters/outfits I create, in the least multiple personality disorder way possible.
- Less is more. Unless you're going for more. In which case more is more and less is less. Don't complicate your skin care routine. The less ingredients the better. You feel stressed with clutter. Clean out your closet frequently. You don't need to have 10 hair oils in your cabinet at once.
- Be thoughtful with your purchases. You don't have to try out everything, stick to the good stuff. Read reviews and be thoughtful when shopping. You don't need 20+ blushes, you just WANT 20+ blushes. If you want to do it, fine; but keep the compulsive feelings in check. Deny yourself sometimes. Only buy what you love and only keep what you love. Don't buy items you can't wear in various ways and outfits. Versatile pieces. Quality over quantity. Buy less and save up for the better quality things. And don't be afraid to use said high quality items for fear of something happening to them. You'd waste more money never using it then using it freely and some stain or scratch appearing. Relax.
- Be proud of what you put out there. Don't blog or make a video because you feel like you have to or because you want to have a certain video released at a certain time of the month. Who cares. This is your weird little hobby and you're meant to enjoy it. The second you aren't, take a small break and walk away from it. If you aren't into it, it will come across. Don't force it. Let it flow naturally.
- Play with chance. Let the universe give you gifts instead of jumping ahead. This probably sounds way deeper than I mean it to be. I mean it as "stop buying shit at full price and wait and see if those Topshop trousers you've been coveting will go on sale at Nordstrom for over 50% off." Inspired by true events. $19.99 instead of $78.00!! If they do, what joy! If they don't and you miss out, you'll live.
- Be proactive. If you don't like something about yourself, change it. Grow. Learn. Be active. If you want to do something, do it. Put yourself out there more. Challenge yourself. Step out of your comfort zone.
- Take care of yourself. Eat well. Wash your face day and night, no matter how tired/drunk you are. Go to the dermatologist every 3 months for a while. Keep an eye on your skin. Keep up with those scar patches so your arm doesn't look so ravaged. Exercise -- use those cute running shoes you just bought! Get more small doses of sunshine. If you catch yourself getting isolated, go somewhere. Positive thoughts. If you're feeling shitty, you'll feel better if pick yourself up, slap on some face, and get an outfit together. Even if it's just to walk around the city or the grocery store.
- Treat yo' self! Not monetarily, I do that enough. In fact, I already have resolved to do that less. I just really want to get into the groove of keeping up a relaxing pamper day once a week. I think it would be good for my psyche and would make me feel like I have a fresh head start on each week. I like routines.
As I said before, some of these I'm ace at and some I really need to work on. I should also put getting to bed at a better hour because Ryan just rolled over and said, "It's almost five in the morning, don't you think you should pack it up?" I can't help that I am the most productive at night, my spirit animal must be a raccoon or an owl. Please God, not a possum. Hisssss.
Last resolution is to be in bed, lights out, no later than 1:30am all nights when I'm not out. This probably sounds crazy to some but I can stay up all night doing random stuff, like this blog post.